She found herself lost between her head and heart. The doors were all closed and all the paths looked similar. She couldn’t take a step forward nor a step backwards, she stood still for so long. Insecure, confused and empty. This is how she was. She found herself alone between the walls of her fortress, the fortress she built to keep people like you away. But somehow, you made it through her walls. So strong, yet so fragile in front of you. She tried so hard to push you away but she couldn’t. That bittersweet feeling was irresistible. She was so mad at herself she didn’t mind to see how it goes. “How can it get any worse?”, she thought to herself. She thought the pain was her new best friend and more or less of it wouldn’t matter anymore, as long as it satisfied at this particular moment. It was like a drug moving through her bloodstream all the way through her veins. It felt good back then, but the consequences turned out to be even worse than she thought. She thought she could control it, but it controlled her. You drugged her so hard but sadly, you fooled her even harder. She fell for your games, she fell so hard. And even though she regrets it right now, she enjoyed every second of it. But the game is over now. Sometimes you just got to let go. You have to let go when your sweetest dreams turn into your worst nightmares. Because after all, every addict has to make a choice at some point. Either to break free from the chains of that sweet toxic drug, or to die alone. She chose not to die now, she wasn’t ready yet. She’s willing to go through hell so she could feel alive again.
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